Gavin: Today in PE we had to talk about eating disorders … and fat people.

Gwen: Did you know you have to eat healthy food for your hair too?
Me: It definitely helps.
Gwen: When I read that I just closed the book and set it aside.
Me: You don’t want to eat healthy?
Gwen: It wants me to eat fish and other foods I don’t like!

Gwen: I’m so glad the nutrition unit is over!
Me: Why?
Gwen: Because they said not to eat candy. They also said not to eat ice cream!
Me: Does that bother you because you are such a candy monster? You don’t like being told it’s not healthy to always eat candy?
Gwen: They think bacon isn’t healthy!
Me and Parker: It’s not.

Me: You lost another tooth! Are you sure you haven’t lost it before?
Parker: You know me. If a tooth is bothering me I will just pull it out. Well, (his eyes look up at the ceiling as he cocks his head to one side) first I think (he puts his finger to his head) if I have lost it before. Since I haven’t, I pull it out!