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Gwen: Ewww! There’s hair in your nose?
Me: Yeah, what do you think holds the boogers in there?
Gwen: Glue?

Gavin: These mints taste like sidewalk chalk … only minty!

Gwen: I don’t like Chromebooks because it takes one million years to get on!
Gavin: All you have to do is push the power button.

Gwen: But everyone is getting books from the Book Fair!
Me: If everyone was getting their nose pierced would you want to do that too?
Gwen pouting: Stop being such a good mom!