Gwen: Ewww! There’s hair in your nose?
Me: Yeah, what do you think holds the boogers in there?
Gavin: These mints taste like sidewalk chalk … only minty!
Gwen: I don’t like Chromebooks because it takes one million years to get on!
Gavin: All you have to do is push the power button.
Gwen: But everyone is getting books from the Book Fair!
Me: If everyone was getting their nose pierced would you want to do that too?
Gwen pouting: Stop being such a good mom!