“You’re not going to like this.”

Not really a statement anyone wants to hear. There are only a couple ways to react. “Oh great!” or “Try me!” I was in the “try me” camp. How bad could anything really be at a Cub Scout Pack Meeting I didn’t even have to go to?

My patience for Cub Scouts was already wearing thin. On Monday one of Parker’s leaders called me. I hate those phone calls. The leaders never seem to understand what they are talking about. They ask me over and over if my kid really did something that I clearly stated, as well as signed in the book, that he did. What would help is if they sign the book every time so I know what’s going on. It’s 30 minutes of my time I could easily be doing anything else. Like putting clothes on. Yes, she called as soon as I got out of the shower and had just wrapped a towel around me.

The leaders ask if I have a minute. I say yes and they immediately launch into their agenda as if I magically have the book right next to the phone. Which is never the case. I always have to search for it. This time I had to wander my house with a towel on my head and another one precariously wrapped around me. I was home alone so really the body towel was more for warmth than privacy.

Then for the next several minutes I am assaulted with questions as if my kid is a liar. She skips through the requirements so fast and in no particular order. My head is always spinning. Parker had taken in his book, like he always does. He also took the list of requirements one leader emailed me. I just jotted them on a piece of scrap paper for my own use. Parker decided to just show his leaders that to let them know what he completed. I was annoyed with the phone call on the very premise that it was completely unnecessary.

But I should have known. The Wolf leader called me regularly to tell me my boys needed to do “just a couple more things to finish.” They would complete that list only to have her call again with a whole new list of “just a couple more things to finish.” She always implied, and sometimes said, that if they completed this “small” list they would get their Wolf. Yet she would call me every other week. I dreaded seeing her name on the Caller ID. I learned to just answer because she never told me via voice mail what he needed to do. I always had to call her for that information.

One of Parker’s Bear leaders emailed me a list of things to complete. I was told if he did those things he would earn his Bear. I should have known there was more. There is always more. By the end of the dizzying phone call on Monday I learned a couple things.

1.  The leaders use a computer program which is why I can never keep up with them by looking in the book

2.  Parker would only earn 3 beads at the Pack Meeting. He can’t earn his Bear until he goes to the next regular Den Meeting in two weeks.

That’s nice. I’m so glad we worked so hard to get it done for the April Pack Meeting only to have it be taken away. Cub Scouts is my least favorite activity behind gouging out my own eyes with a spoon or swimming in a pool of rusty razor blades. Nothing could possibly irritate me more about Scouts. Or so I thought.

I stayed home from the Pack Meeting so Gavin could finish his homework and Gwen could clean her room then clean herself. Heath took Parker. They stopped by the store for cookies since the Bears were in charge of treats. Parker sat with his dad in the back even though he could have, and probably should have, sat with the Bears. Apparently that made him invisible to his Scout leaders. They never called out his name. Why bother when he clearly wasn’t there. At least according to them. Forget about the fact that I specifically said he would be there. They just didn’t look. And he can’t get his beads until the next Pack Meeting. They couldn’t even hand it to him when they finally realized their mistake!

Wow. I could not be more upset. I will have him at least finish the one activity he needs to get the Bear. I will ask for the award because there is no way in hell I am making him go to another Pack Meeting. And forget Webelos next year. I can get behind Boy Scouts. That’s a program that is laid out in a more understandable way. The leaders understand the program and *gasp* actually give a flying fig about the boys. Cub Scouts has officially stomped on my last nerve.

The scary thought is what if this happened to a new member family or anyone that may have taken offense to the point they stop coming to church? I’m pretty peeved but I will get over it.