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The story is that Churchill came up with the song after they a bad experience with music people. They were told their music was awesome. Their sound was what the music people wanted. Blah blah blah. Then they were told that in order for their music to be played they had to change their look, their style, their sound, their music, basically everything they were had to change in order to get the fame. And they were mad so they came up with the song.

That’s the story I heard when I first saw this video and heard the song. Other people think the song is more relationshippy than that. Either way, I like it. Especially the lyrics

You take no chances and you give no other choice
You fill your pockets and you empty out my voice
You use the shallow and old, trade the heart for the gold
You sell the song for the noise

Anyway, I love Churchill and I wish they still were a band and I really wish you could buy actual CD’s of theirs for less than a million dollars and my soul. We did buy a bunch of their songs individually as a digital version on Amazon. I also love illustrating my posts with music. As if my life has a soundtrack.

This morning I woke up to emails of change. I can’t count on anything to just be what it was advertised to be. Everything has to change. Nobody really likes change but I feel extra bothered by it sometimes. I just want to go about my everyday life knowing that the different activities I have signed on for won’t change. Those activities should be the only change in my regular routine.

Gavin has been going to Track practice for a little over a week now and every day it feels like the practice schedule changes. It’s not just the change in days he practices, I never even know when to pick him up. Practice ends sometime before or after 5:00. Roll the dice, your guess is as good as mine.

Track almost didn’t happen because they couldn’t find a coach. Then at the last minute they hired a local hero who kicked butt at the same high school Gavin will attend. He did a bunch of other wonderful things with his athletic prowess but the info is no longer on the school site. More changes. Anyway, he’s supposed to be this great guy and a perfect fit for the coaching position.

He’s also engaged to be married in May. He just graduated and is trying to find a permanent job. He’s subbing in the school district I think and coaching Track in the afternoons. So the program is struggling to take off gracefully. Meanwhile Gavin is struggling to fit piano practice in since his “days off” keep changing.

Yesterday his piano teacher wasn’t available due to a change in plans so Adam’s mom taught Gavin. That makes me feel bad because she had to quit teaching piano to go back to work full time. She happened to be home when Gavin showed up. It looks like Gavin gets Thursdays off when he doesn’t have a meet and he gets Fridays off. Fridays have got to be the worst days for piano practice! Adam is a young teenager. He has his own stuff to do too and I’m sure he would like to have Fridays free. We’ll see.

Track was the first change. The next change that is making me crazy is the baptism this Saturday. The young man in our Ward is the only child in the Stake that needs to be baptized this weekend. When that happens the Stake Primary Presidency pulls out of the equation completely and leaves everything up to the Ward. That’s fine but when it happens the planning ends up being a lot of trouble and everything changes a million times. Just tell me what I’m supposed to do and when I’m supposed to show up. That’s all I want to know.

Emails have already been sent out inviting Ward members to the baptism. After that emails started circulating that the time needed to change. This weekend begins Spring Break and the two Bishopric counselors will be out of town with their young families. The Bishop will be at the temple with a young man who is preparing to leave on his mission. The Bishop has to be at the baptism so the time had to change. It was pushed back two hours which meant the Primary President couldn’t make it. With the rest of the Presidency able to attend it didn’t matter that she had previous plans.

Now this morning she sent an email detailing what needs to happen at the baptism and who is in charge of what. She also said the time is still up in the air and she will let us all know for sure what time the baptism is when she knows. I spent most of yesterday stressed out about the details and the fact that I didn’t know anything. Today I decided it wasn’t worth another moment of thought. There is nothing I can do. I haven’t been given any assignment other than to just show up so I’m going with that. Maybe the world will end Friday night.

We got a lot of grief for requesting to have our own special baptism time for Gavin. Our families could not attend the weekend he should have been baptized with the other children in the Stake. Now I see why those single baptisms are frowned upon. We have had enough Primary kids unlucky enough to be the only child in the Stake turning 8 years old when they were. Their single baptisms are quite the logistical production. It’s amazing.

The school Fun Run is this Friday. I have already told the kids that I won’t go to watch. I don’t want to be driving back and forth to the school all day which is what I would have to do given their run times. The funny thing is Parker’s run time has changed two or three times. By only a few minutes but still. Nail down the time already if you want any parent support!

He runs at the same time I drop off Gwen. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate the staggered schedule? I could drop Gwen off and drive around to the back of the school to see the final gasping laps. Frankly I don’t feel like getting up at 5:00 am to get five people ready for the day in order to watch two kids run. I could but I won’t so don’t accuse my kids of being foster children just because their parents have jobs and better things to do! I know I should let the past be in the past but knowing that some dad accused Gwen of being a foster child last year at the Fun Run because I wasn’t there still gets under my skin.

When I pulled a load of laundry out of the dryer I found Gavin’s student ID card. You know, his ticket to eat lunch. I had to stop that load soon after starting it because there was a rock in it. The things my kids stuff in their pockets! Why don’t I remember to check? Some things don’t change.

A rock is one thing. The ID card made me mad. This is the second time I have found it all sparkly clean and dry in the dryer. What has he been eating all week? Why hasn’t he mentioned it to me? Why hasn’t he even tried to look? He wears the same pair of shorts every day. The ID card was in a pair of shorts he wore to school once since we bought them. Apparently he didn’t want to put them away so he tossed them in the laundry. Card and all.

I try to tell him to switch things up but apparently I speak some other language because my kids don’t listen to me. If a teacher at school doesn’t lecture about it they don’t care. If a teacher mentions anything I have already tried to teach my kids at home, my kids become zealots on the subject. It’s really annoying.

No teacher has had a lesson on clothing so my kids keep making the same mistakes. Rocks in their pockets, extra clean clothes because it’s easier to throw clothes in the laundry basket than it is to put them in a drawer, and really clean student ID cards. Thing that should change don’t.

I had Heath talk to Gavin about the card. He’s less emotional so the kids respond to him better. Plus they said themselves they never see their dad so it’s easier to respect him! Not that I’m bitter or anything. Of course Gavin has been receiving the same lunches as he normally would if he had a card. They haven’t looked up his account number to see that I have paid for these lunches. He just gets whatever he needs because we live in a time when there are no consequences.

It would be illegal to let a child go hungry. In my day kids were given partial lunches when they didn’t have their lunch tickets. There was also an expectation that they pay for the free lunch they received. Now we just skip all that crap and let the kids do whatever they want. And then we wonder why children have this false sense of entitlement and they never seem to learn from their mistakes.

All this time I have been trying to raise my children to survive in the real world. I need to change my perspective. The real world coddles people and gives participation trophies to everyone. Heath was given a gold star in some training meeting he went to for work. He apparently earned the star for asking thought provoking questions. A young lady (think Millenial, who worked at a local clothing company started during the gold rush) asked where her star was. And she was serious. She also got a star put on her certificate. To shut her up mostly but she did nothing to earn it. Her participation in the training was basically showing up and knowing her own name. How am I supposed to raise adults when this is the world we live in? Perpetual childhood where no one is a winner or loser and all mistakes are forgiven. I hate this change!

You want me to change change change
You want me to change

Not all change is a good thing.