The Joy of Motherhood

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Happy Mother’s Day! Today has been an extra special Mother’s Day. Maybe it’s because my kids are getting older. They have been so excited about today for a really long time.

The little neighbor girl talked about the Mother’s Day tradition in her house. She and her sister always make breakfast in bed for their mom. Gwen really liked this idea! Last night Heath went grocery shopping to get the ingredients for my Mother’s Day meal I requested. He came home with so much stuff for me to celebrate Mother’s Day. He got me Ghirardelli chocolate squares – all caramel, my favorite. He also got me Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream that was not on sale! And he got me a plain bagel with plain cream cheese for my breakfast. I love bagels and cream cheese. Plain and sesame seed are my personal favorites.

I just have to laugh that tomorrow Diabetes Blog Week starts! Not really the most diabetic friendly gifts, but my man knows what I consider bolus worthy!

Of course I woke up again at 5:00 am with low blood sugar. I had some snacks knowing that in a couple hours I could have a delicious bagel. Then I went back to sleep. I was in a deep sleep, in the middle of a dream, when I felt a tapping on my shoulder. My eyes opened and I saw Gwen standing by my bed. She said something that I don’t even remember in my half stupor. I looked at the clock and saw 7:04. “It’s too early, honey!” She sweetly said okay and left the room.

Sleep returned but not as deeply. I could hear the kids downstairs and then I heard Gwen say, “It’s a bagel and cream cheese!” Suddenly I was filled with fear. Gwen has seen Heath use a huge serrated knife to cut bagels and put them in the toaster. I didn’t know how far this breakfast was going to go. So I woke Heath up and told him he better help the kids. Thankfully he cut the bagel for them.

Parker brought in a plate of my breakfast. Toast with peanut butter sparsely spread on it and my bagel with a very minute amount of cream cheese. I like a lot of cream cheese! He had the biggest smile on his face as he handed it to me and he asked if I wanted a drink. I declined wondering how I could get away with not eating the toast. My blood sugar was higher than it should be pre-breakfast and bagels have a lot of carbs as it is.

Breakfast in bed is interesting. I enjoyed it only because the kids wanted so badly for me to have this luxury. They are so sweet. One by one they came in with the cards they made me. The cards reflected the essence of each child and the relationship we have. It was so sweet. Gavin gave me a chore coupon booklet and he keeps asking when I’m going to use them.

Church was much more mom themed than I ever remember it being. It was obvious how much everyone speaking or teaching wanted to make this be such a special day for the women. And I think it was.

Unfortunately not every woman has the opportunity to be a mother. But whether a woman has biological children or not, she can make a positive difference in the lives of those around her. I know many single women without children who do just that. Not only should motherhood be respected and celebrated but womanhood should too. I appreciate that when the women are given a Mother’s Day treat those treats are given to every woman in the congregation 18 and older.

This is one of my favorite quotes:

“Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.” ~ Margaret D. Nadauld Young Women General President October 2000

To all the mothers, I hope you had a wonderful day. To all the women, enjoy who you are! Thank you for your inspirational role in the world around you.

gimme 4

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A couple more Disney related shirts.

Cartoons only have four fingers because it looks weird when someone draws five. This is a classic cartoon rule. So rather than saying gimme 5 or high 5, I said gimme 4 with Mickey’s hand. I’m quite pleased with the results. Now to convince the boys they should save the shirts until November when we go to Disneyland! That was not a typo. This is the story we’ve been telling the kids so they don’t realize we’re going in a little over a week!

Checklist

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Haircuts – check

No show socks to go with new shoes – check

Heels still hurting from trying to wear new shoes despite the cushy socks – check

Packing flip flops after all – check

Independent study form signed and sent on to teachers – check

Office staff and teachers notified it is a surprise trip – check

Cricut working again – check

White hands painted on t-shirts – check

Script written for Gavin’s end of year project (video) – check

Random number I don’t recognize calling me – check

I wish I wish I wish I could start packing clothes already but it’s too soon. I did steal a couple t-shirts from the kids yesterday. I didn’t want to do too many. They may notice! I’ll have to sneak the rest next week.

Excitement nearly bubbling over – check!

How do you uninvite uninvited guests?

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A funky smells wafts through the house in waves. It lurks in random corners of the house, particularly the most unlikely corners for a funky smell. It smells like rotting food or sour milk, only it doesn’t. It smells like stale, warm, soiled diapers. Only it doesn’t. The smell is as elusive as the location.

It seems like we have had this problem before. The smell would permeate on wet days. We concluded that we had raccoons living in the crawl space under the house. The landlord didn’t seem too concerned about it so we took matters into our own hands. We tried to spray foam the vents to the crawl space where the grates had been ripped out. The odor dissipated and we enjoyed a long time with only pretty smells in our home.

Now it’s back.

The foam has been dug at and chewed on by local wild vermin until there is another large opening in the crawl space vent. Mama Whatever has moved in and birthed her babies, I am almost positive.

The fetor seems to be concentrated in the garage of all places. What crawled into the garage and died? Unfortunately the ominous stench has curled its way into my van like swirling cigarette smoke. About half a mile from home we either get used to it or enough fresh air has overcome the van cabin. I almost hate coming home. Who wants to park in the bog of putridity?

We never hear anything. No pitter patter of tiny little feet. No snuffling or scratching. The uninvited guests just reek. Although last night something weird happened.

My Cricut turned on all by itself. It has been very temperamental lately refusing to power up when I need it. I finally gave up on it yesterday. Hours later the familiar beep sounded as Heath and I were watching TV. Luckily we weren’t in bed or I would have been convinced that aliens had come to abduct us. Who knows? Maybe Mama Whatever wanted to do some decorating and thought she might cut out something on the Cricut.

It’s that time of year again!

Time for the 4th annual Diabetes Blog Week! I have participated every year and I just signed up for this year. I have been impatiently waiting for Karen to post this year’s topics. Not to brag or anything (much) but one of my topic ideas was chosen as a wild card option this year. I feel so famous!

I need to get going on drafting my posts since Disneyland is just around the corner. I knocked out a few more items on our To Do List for the trip. And I’m so excited I can’t even stand it! The trick will be gathering everything without Gwen noticing. She follows me around the house all day long unless she’s watching TV. Maybe I can check out a few movies from the library. She would love that!

I also need to get caught up on the pictures and video we have from over the weekend. But … I have no excuses I’m just not going to do it right now!

If you don’t know me by now …

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you will never never never know me oohh-oohh-ooooohhhh

These are song lyrics to a song my dad listened to a lot while I was growing up. I don’t remember who sang it. I want to say Toni Braxton. I don’t remember the name of the song either.

The reason why these lyrics popped into my head is that I was thinking if my kids haven’t figured out by now that we are leaving for Disneyland very soon, they will never figure it out. Actually I’m really hoping they don’t. But I do have to wonder. The boys try to walk by me as I’m in front of the computer and I have to minimize the screen quickly every time. With Gwen I just have to scroll past any pictures or identifying logos. She can’t read yet.

I have just spent a large amount of time on the Disney store site. Tinkerbelle was wondering what we wanted her to surprise the kids with. We have decided Gwen needs a new princess dress since she has grown out of hers. The boys would probably like some Disney themed shirts too.

While I was on the site I had to look for a Disney shirt for me. I want to be festive like everyone else at Disneyland. I found a really cute white shirt with a silhouette of Minnie’s head and bow made out of words and phrases. The bow is red words and the head is black words. Really cute so I had to order it. Then I had to get us all water bottles.

Heath was working from home today with another gout flare up. I took him to the doctor this morning. Poor guy. Anyway, one thing that helps gout is to stay hydrated. I found the perfect water bottles. They are 24 oz. aluminum bottles with neoprene covers that all the reviewers said keep beverages cold all night long. They also have super cute characters on the covers as well as the bottle itself if you ever take the cover off.

The best part, and the reason why I had to buy them, was that they all have shoulder straps that look long enough to wear messenger bag style. Sweet! Oh and they were on sale too, which is why we decided to get five of them. Then at checkout there was some promotion that allowed me to get the two non sale water bottles (I wanted everyone to have something different to avoid needing names) for a dollar cheaper than the bottles on sale! I checked my items and saw that three water bottles were $7 each and two were $6 each. I thought the promo was only for one. But I guess it applied to the two I put in the cart.

I can’t wait for our packages to be delivered!

Well, I must feed my starving family. I have no idea what to make. Last night I wasn’t paying attention and ended up cooking each part of dinner separately. Nothing like having the chicken for chicken parmesan cooked before I even think to get water boiling or sauce heating up! Then I didn’t make enough pasta so I got everyone else eating and made more pasta for me. Oh goodness, I really hate cooking!

From Hate to Great

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A while ago I bought Gwen those premade dresses and skirts from JoAnn’s. The kind where you buy enough inches to go around the person and stitch up the side. Well the dress has been bugging me and now I finally have it finished.

First of all, it’s not a dress. It’s too short to be a dress for my glamazon. It would make a great Tinkerbelle themed skirt for me though! A friend gave me some ideas for turning extra inches into sleeves. It sounded adorable and I tried. Oh believe me I tried to make it work.

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Multiple attempts later the sleeves were finally on straight. They don’t look bad in this picture. They’re kind of cute in the picture but in reality they looked ridiculous. She looked like she may take off in flight at any moment.

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She also couldn’t really move in the shirt without the sleeves falling down so I made straps and criss crossed them in the back. Again, it doesn’t look too bad in the picture but that’s mostly due to the fact that I take the fuzziest pictures on my phone for some reason. The sleeves were puckering in the back and the whole thing just looked awful.

I officially hated the shirt. I was in it over $30 for the licensed fabric and I was ready to toss the entire thing. Hate isn’t even a strong enough word for how I felt about the shirt. Really. I could not stand the sight of it!

My mom tried to be supportive. She told me the sleeves were much different from what she imagined I would do with them but she thought it looked cute. When I told her how much I hated it she suggested I turn the sleeves upside down so the flippy floppy part would be at the elbow and not the shoulder. It was worth a try.

I unpicked everything again for the millionth time. I made Gwen put it on again so I could better imagine how the sleeves would work. The sleeves were flipped. While it looked cute, I had put those sleeves on the dress at least three times and they never look right. The problem is the top of the dress goes across her body underneath her armpits. It’s hard to add sleeves to something that has such a short top. The sleeves were always going to look stupid and unnecessary.

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So I added the straps back to make a tank top. Then she put on a white t-shirt underneath. So much better! The straps make it look like I bought it that way since they are from the same fabric. The t-shirt and shorts underneath keep it comfortable for my active child while being modest.

The original plan was modesty. Not Amish modesty necessarily. Just covered while still being fashionable. I am loving the results. She looks so trendy and cute. I am also digging the braids with the outfit. It’s perfect.

F.I.N.E.

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FINE = freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional

I’m fine.

For the most part I feel like I have things under control. I rarely get depressed anymore. My anxiety is manageable. I love to laugh and I love people. Every once in a while that all changes. I go back to who I was before medication and I spiral into the dark abyss of my own mind, which as you know with how often I say it, is a neighborhood I should not be in alone.

It’s probably not even worth cataloguing all the things that have led to my current meltdown. I’m super frustrated that one part of today has left me feeling as drained as I do. It makes me wonder if I really can handle all that I have agreed to take on lately. Especially when I don’t want to have to take Xanax to get through it. I want to be in control of myself. Apparently the Understanding Anxiety class I took hasn’t really stuck.

I understand that I’m human. That not every day can be framed with soft, timeless sepia tones. Some days I will cry over spilt milk and make mountains out of molehills. And some days I will allow the pressures of life to weigh me down while ramping up the adrenaline.

2 Corinthians 12:9

9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

I just found this verse. I’m not perfect and never will be in this life. But I know my Savior lives and through His Atoning sacrifice I can be better each day. And through the Atonement, the Lord understands me. He gets how I feel when no one else can. He’s been there. He can’t wait for me to take His yoke upon me to keep my burdens light. They won’t be taken away but with His help I will get through this moment in time.

Right in front of your back

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The best surprises are the ones planned under the recipient’s very nose unknown.

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The kids are listening to a recording of Parker reading a book. Heath recorded me reading a book too. It involved a lot of screeching so after he cleans up the throat clearing and coughing we’re thinking of putting the recordings on a disk. We may record some more and listen to books on CD on our way to Disneyland!

This trip is coming up quickly. We’re calling it Project Orange for Orange County. So far the kids are completely clueless. Keeping secrets is not easy for us. Heath and I have a tendency to give each other gifts before the holiday because we can’t wait any longer. Gavin made a Father’s Day card at Cub Scouts and randomly started telling Heath all about it! “I can’t tell you why but I made you a card …”

This cluelessness continues as we plan and prepare more and more every day.

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My new purse. We won’t have the luxury of stuffing a stroller but I can’t imagine walking around without my glucometer and snacks just in case. So I got a messenger style purse from REI.

I also got a bra pouch hoping it would work with my pump for pocketless dresses. No such luck. I may have to get creative. I’m thinking homemade garter for that sexy James Bond hidden pump on the leg look.

Anyway, back to Project Orange. These pictures were taken on my Mother’s Day present. Heath got me a new camera with P.O. in mind. It’s pretty sweet. It’s smaller than my Canon Elph and lighter too. It’s a Sony Cyber-shot with pretty much all the same features as my last camera. Heath says the quality is better so the pictures should look better. It has an automatic panorama setting. Can you say hotel view? And it has Wi-fi. I don’t quite know what that means but I think I understand that the pictures can be uploaded to the computer from the camera like a smart phone. Cool!

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Sewing projects abound. This dress is supposed to be a casual summer dress but I kind of really want it for Project Orange. Even if I only wear it to Goofy’s Kitchen for dinner. I just need to put the button holes and buttons in place. I’m a little nervous so the pattern paper may stay pinned in place for a few days as I work up the nerve to do the final step.

Ok, the rest of the sewing projects aren’t necessarily for Project Orange. But I do want to make some shirts for the boys. I’m going to use the Cricut to cut out a hand from my Mickey Mouse cartridge and fabric paint it on the shirts. Then I will cut out the words “Give me four!” I think it will be a really fun subtle Disney shirt.

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We have stopped tossing our plastic bottles in the recycle bin. I drink a lot of Propel Zero water now so we have a lot more bottles. Why should we let someone else get the 5 cents per bottle? We started saving the bottles in a garbage can but it fills up fast. Now we have two large garbage bags stuffed with bottles and as you can see, we can easily fill another one.

I love the big 2 liter bottle and the Diet Coke bottles on top. It makes it look like we have a soda problem. I promise that most of those bottles are Propel Zero water bottles! Seriously!

But I’m figuring if we turn all those bottles in we could get close to $20 in cash. That could go toward our trip too. The nice thing is we have already paid for the room and the tickets. We just have to pay for food when we get there. The $20 could pay for a nice snack right?

A couple weeks ago we bought Gwen a swimming suit but she doesn’t know it’s for our trip! Heath and I are bursting over here. We cannot wait to spring this on the kids. I hope they don’t figure it out early. Shh, don’t tell!

No Manly Pedis

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Gwen and I both have peep toe shoes for church. I think if your toes are going to be peeking out of your shoes they should look their best. So I made sure to give us both a pedicure the first time Gwen wore her new shoes. Of course she’s a little kid who plays hard so nail polish doesn’t last long on her.

My toes have started to chip and look a little worse for the wear. I’ve been meaning to paint them all week. Every day my time fills up quickly and I never get around to sitting at the computer or posting to my blog, much less painting my toenails! Yesterday I told Gwen we needed to paint our nails but again it didn’t happen.

This morning I was at my 9:00 am meeting and Gwen said the following to Heath.

Gwen: Daddy? Are you good at painting nails?
Heath: Not really. Your mom is at a meeting but she’ll be back soon.
Gwen: Can we go next door? I bet they’re good at painting nails.

So cute! Unfortunately I got back from my meeting and saw a white car in front of my house. My first thought was that something must be going on at the park. But I noticed a teenager standing next to the car that seemed familiar. Then the driver got out and my suspicions were confirmed. I knew these people! I had officially forgotten that our Home Teacher and his son were supposed to come over this morning!

I led them through the garage hoping they would be blind to the weekend disaster area also known as my home. Major hugs to Heath for loading and starting the dishwasher because the kitchen was really bad when I left. Anyway long story short, our morning plans were altered with our forgetful moment. I went to church with chippy toenails and Gwen went with naked toenails. It’s ok, the rest of our look was Sunday best.

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