Warning! The following video definitely deserves a PG rating. It is the chocolate chip cookie with a little poo of comedy. It’s all good except that one part. Jim Gaffigan is so funny I cry when I listen to him. This McDonald’s sketch is no exception. Although I felt it fair to warn you that there is some language and a couple inappropriate jokes. Just saying. Oh and it’s pretty long too but way funny!
Yes, I think I’m better than others because I don’t like McDonald’s. And yes, I eat there occasionally because my kids love it! I have run into friends at McDonald’s and it is a little awkward. When I order my food I do order the 2 gallon bucket of Diet Coke. Then refill it.
Last Friday I planned to go to McDonald’s for lunch. It was Gwen’s last day of the Pre K Summer Program and her school was right next to McDonald’s. Years ago when Gavin finished the program, Heath suggested I take the kids there for lunch. Years ago I had a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and a baby. Not to mention debilitating agoraphobia. Go to McDonald’s for lunch? No thank you!
But last Friday it seemed like a great idea. Gwen loves McDonald’s. Loves loves loves it! And the restaurant is right next to the school. I certainly didn’t want to drive back there again. They cook for me and cleanup is pretty easy. And Gwen does love it. How many mom points could I rack up by celebrating her last day there?
Yeah, it seemed like a great idea.
Reality is the only person impressed with my decision was Gwen. Gavin hates burger joints. He hates fries. He thinks they are evil and he always complains he can smell them and it makes him sick! He also hates onions. I forgot that McDonald’s likes to dice their onions making it impossible to pick them off without making a gigantic mess. Gavin forgot to remind me to ask for no onions. You can imagine how well that went.
Parker normally enjoys going out to eat. He likes fast food burgers and fries because I craved that junk food when I was pregnant with him. He gave me some bizarre excuse of not wanting to go because he didn’t want the toy. I know! I was confused too. He went so far as to ask to stay home. Grandma and Grandpa weren’t thrilled with the idea but they humored me anyway. Perhaps I should have left everyone else at home!
Gwen had already eaten lunch at school. The students also celebrated the last day with ice cream. She was not hungry. We were quite the sight. Gwen couldn’t sit still long enough for us to finish eating so she could play in the play area. Gavin was sneering at his burger and sighing. He was elbow deep in burger carnage and diced onions. Grandma had only ordered a smoothie because that was all she could handle there. Grandpa bought Gavin a new burger because all I did was apologize and tell Gavin to deal with it!
Gwen wanted a Smurfette but that day all that McDonald’s site had was two different boy Smurfs. Parker decided he wasn’t interested in playing in the play area. He refilled my Diet Coke and then hung out with everyone else in the dining room. Gwen quickly became best friends with all the girls in the room and ran around happily. I sipped my Diet Coke. I really hoped nobody hated me for my poor judgment! When we left I did thank Grandma and Grandpa for humoring me.
In the end I accomplished what I set out to do. Gwen was happy and I never have to drive out to that part of town ever again! All’s well that ends well.