Let’s start off on a random tangent. The word “solutions” makes me think of a funny memory. I’m sure I’ve shared it here before but it’s worth sharing again.
Heath used to work in Salt Lake City when they were changing the signs on the Delta Center to Energy Solutions Arena. Only a few letters were put up at a time spelling out “Energy Slut” before finishing “Energy Solutions.” I laughed my butt off.
The other day the kids were watching The Wiggles. Aww, it was a tender moment for Heath and me. We love The Wiggles and are very sad that our boys have outgrown them. As we were sitting there enjoying our trip back in time, a classic Wiggles public service announcement came on. I’ve looked on YouTube for it and can’t find it. Bummer. Bear with me as I try to recreate the scene.
Voiceover kid said something to the effect of: Have you been working hard lately?
Greg nods his head yes.
Voiceover kid: Take time to smell the flowers.
A bouquet appears in Greg’s hand and he deeply inhales the scent. Then starts sneezing.
Voiceover kid: Flowers making you sneeze?
Greg nods yes.
VK: Try a tissue.
Greg keeps sneezing.
VK: Can’t stop sneezing?
Greg nods yes.
VK: Go to the doctor!
Greg has an animated ah-ha moment with his finger in the air and then dashes off screen.
Me: Stop trying to solve my problems kid!
Heath: Can’t afford the copayment? Get a job!
I’m still laughing about it.
Every so often people don’t need someone to solve their problems. They just need someone to listen. Last night Parker emotionally dumped on me. His stormy, almost unintelligible cries lasted for 30 minutes. It broke my heart. Poor baby. All I could do was hug him tight and stroke his head while he unleashed an extraordinary number of woes. There were no easy answers and really I think all he needed was to get it off his chest.
My hand has been hurting like a muthah today! It started last night when my wrist started aching. I put my brace on but it never seemed to completely help. All day today the pain has been excruciating. I stuffed as much food as I could into my face at lunchtime so I could take some Ibuprofen. My hand still hurts and I’m ready to puke again. In fact, I have been feeling nauseated all day. I’m not sure if it’s residual flu, high blood sugar, or pain in my racking fracking hand!
Voiceover Kid: Hand hurt like a bugger?
I vehemently nod yes.
VK: Go to the doctor!
Boy that annoying kid just has all the answers doesn’t he? All I really want to do is whine about it. Don’t solve my problems for me. Just listen.
It has been a year now that I haven’t been able to wear my wedding ring. The fingers on my left hand are so swollen the ring doesn’t fit. Do you know what’s awesome about that? Substituting in Primary and having a 5 year old girl randomly ask where my ring is!
I went to the doctor. He told me I have tendonitis which I kind of don’t believe anymore. It started with me not being able to make a fist or straighten out my fingers. Now I still can’t make a fist and sometimes my fingers get stuck straight out. The part of my hand just underneath my ring finger is very tender.
I drop things. Out of the blue stuff will just fall out of my hands. It’s been happening a lot more often lately. My favorite was when we were out to eat. Gwen and Gavin were leaning on the table so hard it was tipping. I had picked up my glass of Diet Coke to take another sip. Noticing the table issue, my brain and hands completely disconnected. I basically threw the glass and lunged for the tipping table. Diet Coke was everywhere. I felt like an idiot. Especially when the waitress had to mop up the mess as if she were my mother.
I can’t braid Gwen’s hair. Today it was so bad I couldn’t even work the elastics to do a ponytail. This is becoming a real problem. Even typing is a chore. The brace is in the way and what mobility I have left in my fingers hurts like the dickens. Have you ever tried to drive with a gimpy left hand and arm? Every turn of the wheel, every flick of the turn signal, every slight movement required comes with grunts and gasps. It hurts!
The doctor’s only advice was to try not to use my hand and take Ibuprofen. What, until the end of time? Don’t use my hand? Are you kidding? It may not be my dominant hand but it’s amazing how much I need it. It’s kind of like when I’m recovering from a C-section. Those ab muscles are used for everything. It doesn’t help that everything is hilarious too. The kid’s born; they’re healthy; life is good. Plus, Heath is really funny. Laughing is enough to kill me!
I know I need to see a doctor. My quality of life is rapidly decreasing. I just wanted to vent a little. Thanks for reading.