It’s hard to know when that kid is crying wolf! Every other day he lies on the floor feigning illness. I get him going and he’s fine. Since he goes to school a full 45 minutes after Gavin he passes the time by watching TV. In my defense, it keeps Gwen and Parker from fighting and gives me a minute to shower or workout or finish whatever I’m doing.
As soon as I say it’s time to go his illness comes back. Probably because he didn’t get to finish the Spongebob episode or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Who wants to go to school when the boob tube god is flashing images and blaring a tempting version of the Hallelujah Chorus?
This morning was no different. The floor had an extra gravitational pull for Parker. The couch called his name and it took some convincing to get him to eat. I kept stressing the fact that if he stayed home he would have extra homework, he would get behind in school, and all I was going to let him do if he stayed home was lie in bed and stare at the walls. No toys. No TV.
He set up camp on the floor watching me do a quick ab workout. Gwen was more or less in the way unsuccessfully trying to do the exercises with me! I finished just in time to comb his hair, pop two children’s Pepto tabs in him, and take him to school.
He was walking slowly and his face was a little pale. No fever – no stay home from school. I hoped it was all psychosomatic from watching a Full House episode yesterday where DJ faked the flu to get a rock star autograph. I hoped he could make it.
In my defense Parker is the most likeable kid in town. Even the teachers are in love with him. How many times did the school nurse call me to pick him up from kindergarten? How much money did I spend on copays to get a doctor to tell me what I already knew – that he was fine! He was flushed from recess but the teacher sent him to the office anyway. Any time Parker replaced his perma grin with a more somber expression the teacher was sending him to the office. This is my defense! I’m sticking to it!
I was raised by parents who never batted an eye unless there was gushing blood or vomit. And then they would swear at us for making a mess! I remember my mom wore sunglasses in the hospital like some kind of incognito rock star and kept telling me to stop crying because I was embarrassing her! Her coworkers may see her since we were across the hall from the x-ray department where she worked. I had ungracefully fallen off my bike onto my face and needed stitches in my lip. don’t feel emotionally scarred from this. I’m a tough cookie because of it. I am raising warriors not pansies!
Good intentions only go so far. I made it halfway down the long street to my house before Velma stopped the music to tell me someone was trying to call me. I pressed the U-Connect button to answer. It was the school secretary telling me she had Parker in the office. He had thrown up. I told her I was turning around and made the next left into a circle to do so.
Could I be any more unprepared to pick up a sick child from school? Gwen was still in her pajamas with bare feet. She suggested she stay in the van while I hold Parker’s hand. Her words. I was still sweaty in my workout clothes with flip flops on. Luckily I had grabbed a hoodie as a cover up. It concealed some of my body no one should ever see encased in lycra. I know. Vanity runs deep in me.
Parker looked nearly as green as the jacket he was wearing. I hugged him and got a little of his puke on my shirt. I apologized to him and he quickly forgave me. When I told him he could spend the day on the couch watching TV he was relieved. He told me he didn’t want to stare at the walls like I had threatened earlier.
The sun is shining. It’s a beautiful day that Gwen and I will no longer enjoy at the Alien Playground. The TV god will be properly worshipped all day. I will never win any mother of the year awards and who knows what the school nurse and secretary think of me! But at least Parker forgives me for never believing him when he says he feels sick. In my defense, he cries wolf a lot.
My mom sent me to school once when I was sick and I threw up all over the teacher’s desk then down the aisle of the classroom to the sink. It was so fun. For several years I was called “Throw-up Dawn.” I am not quite certain I was as forgiving as Parker and we had no TV to entertain me. Besides I had to walk the block home from school by myself. I doubt Parker will have such deep scars for the rest of his life. You should all go out into the backyard and enjoy the sunshine for a while. Take a break from the boob tube and worship the sun for me. I don’t know how long it will be before we see it again.
That’s a horrible story! I’m so sorry you got a mean nickname from that.
I remember one day not feeling well all day. I walked home with Tyson and managed to almost make it home. I hosed the parking strip grass of a house a couple doors away from our house. Tyson seemed mad but I think he just was embarrassed and didn’t know what to do. There wasn’t much snow to cover it. He did say I couldn’t have picked a better house to do that in front of. They were the eccentric neighbors! It seems like that was the last day of school before Christmas Break. I know I got part of the big wreath I had made at school. That had to have been second grade which means about a week later I was in surgery getting my tonsils and adenoids out. That was the day after Christmas! Being a kid is hard huh?
I like your idea of going outside. We’ll have to go in the front though since the backyard is still completely shaded by the house. Soon the earth will turn enough that as the air warms up for summer the shade no longer sticks around long in the backyard!
Aww man, those judgment calls are so hard to make. Thing is, 95 percent of the time when you think they aren’t sick and send them to school, you’re right. But that 5 percent is still enough to make you feel bad! All part of motherhood . . .
So true, so true. I decided to keep him home just to be sure he can keep food down since last night he couldn’t. He is bouncing all over the place in true Parker style. Heath is right, I’m going to spend the day feeling guilty for keeping him home! Those judgment calls really are hard to make. It helps to know that every mother goes through this. Sometimes it feels like other mothers have a better handle on things than I do! Oh well.
Thanks for soaking up some vitamin D for me. I hope Parker is feeling better and the bug stops with him. EVERYBODY WASH YOUR HANDS!