What’s Lost is Now Found

It’s been a particularly busy Sunday. I have spent the day running here, there, and everywhere getting things ready for people.

There were a couple different moments today when I remembered my tragic loss from last week. When I chose a necklace. Actually I wondered if maybe I should skip the necklace in case church was just bad luck for necklaces. My eyes scanned the blacktop in the parking lot. I couldn’t help it. I also noticed every shiny piece of lint on the floor in the hallway and in the Primary room. Once or twice I thought of my missing necklace as I sat in Sacrament Meeting.

My necklace was gone. There wasn’t anything I could do about it. I hoped I could find it in the Lost and Found closet. Instead I was so busy with Primary duties I completely forgot to even check. Right as we walked down the hall toward the door to leave the building for another week, my eyes looked at the floor and I remembered my lost necklace. I told my family I would meet them outside. I had to check the closet.

What hope I felt was miniscule. Really I was checking the closet for closure. I had to see once and for all that my necklace was gone and lost forever. The sooner I saw the inevitable the sooner I could move on with my life without the beautiful diamond lined heart my husband lovingly bought for me.

I opened the door and there on the shelf in front of everything else was my necklace. It was sparkling at me as if it was smiling. My heart jumped and I felt lighter. It’s not a big deal but at the same time it is a big deal. It’s a big deal to me. I never expected to find it. Last week I had hopes that the other ward found it and would return it to the Lost and Found closet today. My every wish came true. I can’t believe it!

Heath told me to buy a new chain for it. I think I will. I can’t chance losing it again.

Thoughts from an Unsatisfied Stomach

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If you could get all the nutrition you needed in a day with a pill — no worrying about what to eat, no food preparation — would you do it? In a word, yes. Well, sort of.

Food is one of my anxiety triggers. I don’t like eating in front of people. Even a lunch with good friends can feel taxing. Of course I love to go out to eat with my family. We know each other and love each other unconditionally. Anyone else and I feel very self-conscious.

I have a tendency to overeat at home to avoid any possibility of a low blood sugar reaction. Eating in front of people is hard enough. Eating to correct a low is horrible. I’m shaking, I’m sweaty, I feel like I’m going to die. And there are people around.

My other issue is food prep. I don’t have adult ADD unless I’m cooking. Distraction equals disaster when it comes to cooking or baking. I don’t have the attention span to make anything. Mostly because I don’t care. If I had to choose between cooking and baking I would choose cooking. Baking takes a lot of time and creates a huge mess with the end result being food I don’t crave. Cookies are nice and I have been known to overeat my fair share. I would much rather murder my blood sugar with chips. Like baking, cooking takes a lot of time, creates a mess, and yields little satisfaction. It takes a fraction of the time to eat a meal than it took to prepare it. In the end everyone just poops it out anyway! Cooking is a giant waste of time. That’s why I like paying for restaurant employees to do it for me. Yummy comfort food with no cleanup required? Twist my arm!

Anxiety colors a lot of my issues with food. I struggle with agoraphobia, or a fear of being out in public. I can force myself to do a lot of things I would rather not do. More often than not I even enjoy myself. The social gatherings I hope to avoid at all costs involve food. It’s fairly easy to not eat in front of people at a social gathering. My worst nightmare is when I have to help serve food, particularly portion food out to be served. Social anxiety mixed with food in this way is a deadly combination for me. The best way I can describe it is I feel like a little kid. My brain shuts down and the simplest task of even spreading butter on bread takes all my concentration. I can’t see or think straight. I hate being asked to help with food.

Lately I haven’t been eating very well. I find excuses to not do it. When I do eat none of the food is actually good for me. I’ve been a terrible diabetic lately. I’m too busy to eat or I wait till it’s too late to eat a real meal so I have a small snack to tide me over. Some of these issues are solved with a drink. That’s what weight loss shakes were created for right? Meal replacements for lazy people like me?

Consumable liquids are my weakness. Given the choice between eating and drinking I think I would almost always choose drinking. Food commercials don’t make me feel hungry. There have been times when food commercials made me downright nauseated. Any beverage commercial makes my mouth water for something to drink. The summer before I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes was a drinking binge fest for me. I was so thirsty all the time because my blood sugar was so high and thirst is a natural symptom of that. I could not get enough to drink. I knew any sip meant I was in the bathroom 30 seconds later but I didn’t care. My thirst was insatiable. In the moment, whatever I was drinking almost filled an emotional void. That hobby, if you will, has never completely left. I love drinking.

Not like bar drinking. Alcohol is very tempting to me. Between seeing the effects of alcohol and my own religious standards, I don’t even want to try it. Diet Coke is as dangerous as I get. I will be the first to admit I have an unhealthy relationship with plastic bottles filled with dark sparkling liquid happiness. The fact that I call it liquid courage or liquid happiness, or liquid any-positive-emotion is the first sign of a problem! That’s a lot of power to give to a billion dollar soda industry. Why do you do what you do when you know what you know? Good question.

I drink it emotionally and socially. Sometimes my hands don’t know what to do unless they have a condensation clouded bottle nearby. It’s my happy place and I don’t mind admitting that. If Diet Coke could give me my daily nutrition requirements I would never eat again.

The original question was about pills though. To be honest, pills don’t do it for me. I have never been tempted to overdose on pills. I don’t even like taking the pills I have to take. Heaven help me if I get sick and can’t find the medicine as a liquid. My fear with a magic nutrition pill is size. I can’t swallow most pills. That ability shut down along with the baby making factory. Ah but if I could drink my nutrition, that would be something. I remember being at Diabetic Camp and telling friends I wished I could drink my meals. My anxiety was overwhelming at the time. The thought of drinking meals does sound more appealing than eating. If scientists could create a nutritional pill, perhaps they could also make a liquid form. And maybe unicorns will fly and world peace will be the headline of the century. One can always hope. Until then I guess I better keep eating.

First Day Pictures

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Parker is now the big man on campus. His enthusiasm for life continues to burn brightly.

Gavin is now in the middle of middle school. A big bad 7th grader. He knows what’s what but he’s not yet as wise as the 8th graders. By the end of the year he will be. He still hates having his soul stolen through candid photographs. Gwen, on the other hand, loves posing for the camera.

Watch out world, here comes Gwen the 2nd grader!

Remember who you are, my children. I love you!

Tradition

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The first day of school comes with many traditions. The backpack fairy visits. Last night she came early. I was sure someone would come downstairs and get a sneak peek. Sure enough Gwen snuck down ninja style and saw the gifts before we could stop her, much less know she was even there! Gwen and Parker both got laptop desks so they can do their homework anywhere in the house. They both prefer anywhere but the desks set aside for homework. Gavin got a timer. He is very smart but lacks focus. The hope is the timer will help him stay on task.

Last night Heath gave all the kids a father’s priesthood blessing. This is something they all look forward to. Gwen couldn’t wait for her dad to come home. Poor guy was stuck on BART for another two hour commute home. A week ago he woke up early and then spent the entire extra time (two hours) on BART trying to get into work. There was an earthquake soon after he boarded the train. I didn’t even feel it. Yesterday there was another suicide on the tracks. Heath got home with enough time to shove lasagna in his face and rush Gavin off to the shoe store for running shoes. Gwen must not have realized they left. When I told her that her dad wasn’t home she was concerned she wouldn’t get her blessing. I assured her it would happen later when they got back.

I’m really glad things worked out the way they did. The running shoes were supposed to be a birthday present for Gavin. We wanted to wait until closer to school starting because the kid keeps growing so fast. Then we kept forgetting to go. Cross Country starts on Monday so really we still had time. I’m glad Heath made it happen last night. He took Gavin to a place highly recommended by friends who run. When they got home Gavin came out to the gazebo to show me his new shoes. They are really nice. He learned a lot of tips for taking good care of his really nice shoes. Since the other two were inside watching TV we took advantage of having Gavin all to ourselves. We talked to him about his hopes and dreams for school and his fears and pet peeves. It was a good discussion. It set the tone perfectly for his priesthood blessing. We took him upstairs alone for his blessing.

Then we called the other two into our room, one at a time. We had similar discussions with each kid and ended with the blessing. It was really nice to isolate each child. I think we had better discussion because there were no distractions or interruptions. The conversation went the way each child needed.

Everyone woke up early this morning. Nervous energy got us through the morning routine much faster than usual. The kids were so excited for school. Of course I took everyone outside for pictures. (long story but I will post them later) Then we were off to school. That’s when I saw the low tire warning. Of course! First day of school equals weird car problem. My tires aren’t flat. I was able to hit the grocery store after dropping off kids. The low tire didn’t prevent me from picking them up after school. At least that.

Gwen’s teacher greeted us in line. She remembered me from when she taught Gavin in second grade. She said she didn’t even know I had another little one. Gwen was all of two years old when Gavin was in second grade. Apparently there are four returning families this year. Teachers like that. It’s fun to teach younger siblings. Parents were invited into the classroom for a few minutes. That’s when she announced this is her last first day of school. She is retiring at the end of the year. Of course she is. It’s amazing to me how often we have had teachers announce their end of year retirement. Is it us? Something about my family that burns through teachers? I don’t know. I have less of a complex when the teacher says it the first day of school. It’s the ones who wait until mid-year that make me wonder. Maybe it’s not a bad thing though. Maybe the teachers realize my kids are so spectacular that they may as well retire. No other student will ever surpass the joy of my children!

New and very annoying tradition is that the first three weeks of school are a logistical scheduling nightmare. Three kids, two schools, three different schedules. *sigh* I remembered to pick up Gwen from the front of the school at 2:15 since the back gates are not open until 3:00. Well you get that many lower grade parents in the front parking lot to pick up their kids and parking spots fill up quickly. So quickly in fact that I had to park in a cul de sac two streets away and walk in. I looked and looked for Gwen but couldn’t see her through the sea of parents. I saw her teacher marching to the front gates but I never did see Gwen. I tried to move up closer to the gates only to see she was definitely not there. Her teacher saw me and asked me where Gwen was. She assured me Gwen came with the group. She seemed more upset than I was. I knew Gwen was there and I had a sneaking suspicion she had walked to the back of the school to find me since that’s where she’s supposed to be once the staggered schedule officially starts. Thankfully she walked back to the front and I spotted her before her tears started.

We walked to the van and waited forever to merge into traffic. Then we drove to the back of the school in preparation to pick up Parker in 30 minutes. As we walked across the street to go to the park, Gwen’s friend saw us. She joined us at the park with her family. Her mom watched a bunch of kids while a couple of us moms went back to the school to get our older kids. I ran into a friend who said she completely forgot about the weird schedule for the first three weeks. She knew the schedule wasn’t staggered but assumed the lower grades just stayed all day. The school called her to pick up her daughter. She was so confused! “She’s supposed to come home with her brother!” It took a minute for her to realize that they get out 45 minutes apart.

Highs reached the low 90’s today. Not super hot but hot enough to feel like the first day of school. The forecast shows highs in the 80’s for the next week or so. That won’t be so bad. We went out tonight for our first day tradition of going out to eat. It’s the first day of school, let someone else cook and clean up.

My Sterling Heart

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Jewelry used to be as important to me as clothing. There are rules that people should wear clothes. I had a rule that I had to adorn each outfit with jewelry. I wore it all – earrings, rings, necklaces, bracelets, even anklets and toe rings. The toe rings were uncomfortable so I didn’t do it that often. I loved my jewelry.

After years of skipping jewelry, I have slowly started to add more pieces to each outfit. Some days I am more sparkly than others. Sundays are usually extra sparkly days. Today was no exception. I put on one of my favorite necklaces. It’s a silver heart, artistically crooked, with diamonds lining one side. Heath bought it for me at Disneyland.

I was concerned that the necklace was a mistake. I was wearing a button down shirt with a collar. The necklace was sitting in a weird place. I had tried on a few necklaces and none of them were working. The chain for the heart necklace was just long enough. The chain is also a pain in the butt to clasp. Since I was on the fence about wearing a necklace at all with the shirt I decided if I couldn’t close the clasp easily I would skip the necklace. Two quick tries and the necklace was on. Heath assured me it looked fine. I kind of expected him to talk me out of it. The necklace stayed on and we left for church.

We had a lot of stuff to pack into the van and then carry into the building. I had walked between the Primary room and the closet once or twice before I noticed the worst sight. What looked like something hanging from the front of my shirt turned out to be part of the chain hanging as if it were broken. Nope, just unclasped. The heart was nowhere to be found. We looked everywhere. We checked all over the house when we got home, including the garage. No heart. My heart is broken. I loved that necklace.

Interestingly enough I heard a great story about silver in Sacrament Meeting. The author is unknown so there are a few different versions online. This one is closest to how the speaker read it.

Refining Silver

Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to read the scriptures, and make them the subject of conversation. While reading the third chapter of Malachi they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: “And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” One lady’s opinion was that is was intended to convey the view of the sanctifying influence of the grace of Christ. Then she proposed to visit a silversmith and report to them what he said on the subject.

She went accordingly and without telling the object of her errand, begged to know the process of refining silver, which he fully described to her. “But Sir” she said, “do you sit while the work of refining is going on?” “Oh, yes, madam,” replied the silversmith; “I must sit with my eye steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured.”

The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the expression, “He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” Christ sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for them. Their trials do not come at random; “the very hairs of your head are all numbered.”

As the lady was leaving the shop, the silversmith called her back, and said he had forgotten to mention that the only way that he knows when the process of purifying is complete when he sees his own image reflected in the silver….

–Author Unknown

I had never heard the story before. I like the parallels between refining silver and how the Lord refines us in life. Everyone has trials in life. It’s what we signed on for. Trials are how we grow and become the people we are meant to become. If life were easy we would never reach our full potential for all the same reasons why you don’t help a butterfly emerge from its cocoon. When life is most difficult and feels like we are in a fiery furnace, it is comforting to know the Lord is there. My experience is that when the furnace is hottest that’s when the Lord reminds me most often that He’s still there. Or at least I recognize His hand in my life most at those times. He does it that way to remind me that He will never break me. I may feel like my trials are more than I can bear but He knows. He will take me to the edge but never beyond. Just like the silversmith. He sits and watches intently, ready to step in when needed. And in the end I am properly refined when I reflect the Lord in my countenance. What a wonderful reminder.

What does this have to do with my missing heart? Absolutely nothing. Sometimes sad things just happen. There is no takeaway. Parker did suggest I pray about it. He said he lost something once and after praying he was able to find it. He had lost a stuffed monkey half his size. I’m not sure how he lost it in the first place! Heath suggested I ask for donations to get back to Disneyland for a replacement. I don’t need that. I really don’t want a replacement. I just want the original back.

Probably the lesson with the lost necklace is that some things are more important than things. Vanity is unflattering. Especially when the necklace was fashionably inappropriate to begin with. But refining silver reminds me that I have a Savior who loves me and knows I’m bummed about my own stupidity. It also reminds me that sometimes He gives us the miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead and sometimes He gives us the miracle of being there as a comfort. Both are miracles and both prove how much He loves us. The fact that He doesn’t always raise Lazarus from the dead, so to speak, shows how much He understands the type of refinement we need.

As much as I would love to have the heart back, I don’t expect it. Eventually I will move on. I am prepared to live without the miracle of finding it. I think.

It’s the Final Countdown

Registration is complete. I still think Walk Thru Registration is a waste of time but it wasn’t too painful this year. It’s nice the schools are doing so many forms online. This year they didn’t require parents to stop at every station begging for money. That sure sped up the process. After standing in long lines to prove we live in the school district we finally got everyone’s schedule. Gavin seemed happy enough with his schedule. He likes that PE is the second to last period of the day rather than the first.

Gavin: It’s hot in the afternoon though.
Me: You run after school. You’ll be fine.
Gavin: True.

Gwen has the same teacher Gavin had in second grade. I liked that teacher. Gwen is super excited because her teacher’s name is French. She thinks her teacher will have an accent and be very French. Nope, just married the name. Parker does not have the same teachers Gavin had in fifth grade. That was my only wish for him. That he have anyone other than those team teachers. The odds were in my favor! I don’t know anything about his teacher. The boys say she likes to be in charge because she is the teacher over student government. Parker may be encouraged to participate again. He thought of running for office last year but gave up quickly on the idea. The next thing we knew he was assigned to be a class representative for the second semester and went to monthly meetings with his current fifth grade teacher. He is definitely leader material. I will support whatever he decides or is assigned.

We have been trying to have fun with the last few days of summer. On Wednesday we saw The Lego Movie for a buck apiece. I did a terrible job of paying attention to the dollar movies this summer. We met up with some friends for this one. It was fun. Yesterday we went for a walk. The plan was to go on the Fairy Walk trail but there was construction on the trail. We could have gone around but we all decided to just go to the park instead. The funny thing is we met up with a cute little family we played with on one of the last days of Spring Break. When I finally realized they were familiar I scrolled back forever through my phone pictures until I found the pictures I took of Gwen playing with the same adorable little boys. The mom said all the same things about my kids. That they are so sweet the way they play with her young boys.

Today we walked to Mr. Pickles for lunch. Heath is working from home. His noon meeting was cancelled so he walked with us and we all picnicked in the park. Gwen wanted each of us to take a day to pick a fun family activity to do as a countdown to school starting. The problem was she thought of this when there were exactly five days left. She wanted a picnic. It worked out that we did that today. On Monday we will walk to 7-11 for the last time this summer. We did that a week or two ago. The kids really enjoy that. It is pretty fun.

We’re about 100 pages away from finishing a really fun book. Heath saw it on Amazon and decided to order it. It’s called What We Found in the Sofa and How it Saved the World. It’s a super fun book. Much better than The One and Only Ivan. I may be the one and only one who hated that book but I really did hate it. As I was reading I had plans to write a scathing blog post about it but I decided I don’t want to be like that. I didn’t like it. Enough said.

Heath played video games with Gavin the other night. Gwen asked me when we were going to watch a chick flick I have on my Netflix listings. We watched it today. Parker said he felt left out and wants a special date too. He really wants to play video games with his dad.

It doesn’t look like we’ll get anymore pool days before school starts. I may not even be interested once school starts. Summer feels like it’s over. Every time Heath watches anything about football I get excited. I’m ready for summer to end and football season to start. If I have to stop playing long enough to get kids ready for school then school should just start along with football. We have had plenty of fun this summer. It feels like June was a million years ago. I’m not ready for the hustle and bustle of school or homework. I am ready for the next season. It’s time. Bring it on.

Freedom

What is freedom?

Soon summer’s freedom will end and my kids will be chained to a desk again only to have hours of homework as a reward. This does free up my time in a way. I’m not looking forward to it. Soon the house will be all too quiet. The freedom to do anything I want will overwhelm me until it’s too late. Creativity inevitably sparks only when I’m serving my children.

I have a new computer. Heath has been wanting to get me a Surface for a long time. Supposedly it gives me much more freedom. It functions as a laptop so I can blog anywhere I want. That’s the problem though. Writer’s Block. I’ve tried typing with it in the docking station. I’ve tried moving it to my lap. It’s too hot to sit outside. It doesn’t really matter where I go. My bored children always find me. Their last few days of freedom are making them anxious and cranky.

It’s been two days without any mail at all. It could be coincidental. It could also mean the world’s laziest mailman is now in the running for world’s most vindictive mailman. I am free to voice my concerns to his superiors. Apparently he is free to withhold my mail indefinitely.

All I hope is that I am free to write really lame blog posts until real inspiration hits.

Don’t hold thy breath

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As I had imagined, my medication showed up in the mail the same day I had purchased replacement refills. Not a Kaiser problem. Definitely a mail issue. Our mailman continues to not win points.

Heath suggested I take the unopened package to the main post office the next day to let them know what happened. It was clearly marked on the package that it had left Costcoland (not the real name of the city!) on August 7th. I received it after 6:00 pm on August 12th. No joke. Costcoland is six miles from where I live. Six miles. Five days for a package to travel six miles is ridiculous at best. I told the guy at the post office I could walk to Costcoland in less than five days.

I also complained about our notoriously slow mailman. The guy seemed surprised that I would say we receive our mail consistently between 6:00 and 7:00 pm. He was certain our mailman clocks out at 6:00. Unless he’s doing it remotely that ain’t true!

The post office complaint shrink took down information from the package and asked me to write my phone number for him. He said he would look into what happened with the package and call me. The phone has not rang yet. I fully expected a call that day. Now I’ve decided not to hold my breath. Although yesterday I did see a different mailman was delivering. It was still 5:30 pm. Still, it’s progress. Maybe I was heard.

I loved that the post office guy thought he was helping when he told me to request a rush on any medication refills. Not really the problem! I told him that I get a phone call from my insurance company telling me they have shipped my order. Usually I get the package that day or the next day. It has never taken five whole days to receive. And why should it? Six miles, people. Six miles. And the phone still hasn’t rung. Keep breathing. It never will.

Great advice requires more wisdom than to give it

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I read in a magazine once that you should do puzzles on a corkboard. The pieces stay in place without sliding around. When you step away from the puzzle you should put the board under a couch or something. Boom! Outa sight! Perfect right? Everyone thinks your kids are the tidiest little monkeys.

Around my house we use a large piece of cardboard. Usually a tri-fold science fair project board or something. That way we can move it from the table to another room so we can eat.

This time I pulled out the Disneyland puzzle and told the kids to go nuts with it. We set up the cardboard on the coffee table in the living room. I can’t resist puzzles so I quickly got in on the action.

Soon it became a friendly contest between Parker and me. Although we are very congratulatory when a difficult hole was filled. We fight over who gets to put pieces in and also high five each other when a different elusive piece is finally found.

We spent all morning puzzling. At one point Parker told me he wanted to stop but since I was still going he was going to wait for me to quit. I kept saying we needed to stop so we could shower for the day. And we just kept snapping pieces in place. Finally I said it was time to take a break. He came up with some contest that whoever found a certain piece first could shower last.

I found the piece and he wrestled me to get it in place first! The next thing I knew we were racing upstairs. I clearly won and even ran in my bathroom to turn on the shower. He didn’t care. He ran into his bathroom and turned on his water too. Gwen told Parker he would have a cold shower since I started my water first. We showered at the same time. My shower was normal. I never did ask what his was like.

He was upset that I would leave the house to go to the Post Office. I promised it would be a quick trip. As soon as I got back we were both in front of that puzzle again. The G’s asked if they could go to the park. They played for a while and we snapped more pieces in place. They came home and we were still in front of that puzzle. There is something so addicting about putting puzzles together. It became a personal challenge to get the whole thing finished before Heath came home. It probably won’t happen but it was a great goal!

Eventually I decided we needed to do something else. Anything else. Gwen did her own hair today for heaven’s sake! The ponytail holder came out a long time ago. We decided to play in the pool. That lasted a short half hour. It’s not a hot day and we were freezing. The kids did their chores. Parker was extra motivated to move quickly. Guess who’s back in front of the puzzle? I told him I would be there soon. “Yes!” he said.

It’s great advice to stow puzzles under a couch. Unfortunately we don’t work that way in my house. Puzzles don’t sit around long. I don’t even care that we had pieces all over the floor in a disorganized pile so we could see each one. No one is coming over today. That’s tomorrow afternoon. By then I’m sure the puzzle will be finished. I gotta go! He’s put together too much!

Cloaked with Invisibility

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My medical insurance company has been calling me a lot lately. A monotone computer lady keeps reminding me that my doctor has ordered lab work for me. Please come in at my earliest convenience. If I already did it then I should ignore the phone call because they thank me for my obedience.

My endocrinologist refuses to see me more than once a year. So every year when I do see him he prints off a ream of instructions for me to “remember” until I see him again in a year. As fun as it is to be poked and prodded and told to save my bodily fluids in a cup, I don’t really mark my calendar for these events. I hardly remember people’s birthdays. I don’t know why my doctor is too busy to see me so I figure I will give him something to do. I wait for those reminder calls to get lab work done.

This morning my blood sugar was stubbornly high. An easy day to fast for blood work. I also needed to turn in yet another sports physical form for the pediatrician to sign. If kids only need to be seen once a year and the doctor is okay with that why can’t the school keep these forms on file for a year? This is the third form I have asked the doctor to sign since March. Track, Scout Camp, and Cross Country. Nothing has changed. The third leg of the medical trifecta today was I needed to figure out where on earth my medications were that I ordered.

I went to the lab first. The waiting room was not busy so I was called to the desk to register soon after sitting down. I gave her my card and she kept staring at her computer screen with increasing confusion. I told her my doctor’s name that wants the test results. I have learned that if I say to do everything I have to do all kinds of stuff for every single doctor I see. Tests that are usually done every few years I will have done multiple times in a year! Lesson learned. Say a specific name.

Telling her the doctor’s name didn’t seem to register any sort of a change on her baffled face. I started listing possible tests. A1C, thyroid, cholesterol. She told me that according to her records those tests were not due until December. I told her how I had seen him last December and he wanted me to check on things in six months. I told her about the phone call reminders to come in. All she could say was there was nothing in her system indicating I needed to have my blood drawn. She suggested I contact the doctor.

Just what I want to do! I can’t call because he will not respond to me that way. I’ve tried it. I have to email which I prefer but even then I’m not interested. Why should I have to ask him to allow a phlebotomist to drain my blood? Especially when they always tell me I have too much scar tissue on my veins? Let me tell you, my favorite activities include showering early in the morning and fasting so I can be yelled at by a person already torturing me with a needle. Shaving my head with a rusty razor blade, poking my own eyes out, getting a root canal, walking across the country barefoot. These all sound much more appealing than the alternative I am faced with.

I walked away from the lab feeling strangely like I don’t really exist. My prescription was also ever so missing. Hm. The pharmacy was still dark inside. So I went upstairs to turn in Gavin’s sports forms. That turned out to be the only not annoying experience at Kaiser today. The receptionist told me that the pharmacy opens at 9:00. It was 9:00 then.

A pharmacy girl turned on the lights and opened the door about a minute or two after I got back downstairs. I think she was surprised to see someone lurking at the door. I told her I just had a quick question about an order I had not received. She confirmed the order had been mailed to my address on August 7. Today is the 12th. Where is my stuff?

She told me to wait 15 minutes while they refilled it for me. I would have to pay again since she can’t refund from another pharmacy even though it’s all Kaiser. Since I was the first customer of the day it took maybe five minutes before my name showed up on the board. I didn’t even notice right away because I had settled in expecting a long wait. I paid my $13 again and was given my medication. She did give me a magnet with the phone number for the mail order pharmacy to ask for a refund.

Heath said, “I’m sure it will arrive today. The mailman was likely too tired to lift it the last couple of days.” He’s probably right. We have the world’s laziest mailman. Our mail is delivered late in the evening every single night. Of course when I count on it being late that’s when it’s delivered early. The early delivery days are only when our mailman has a substitute. We think our lazy mailman is either avoiding a wife at home or has no one to go home to. Either way he parks in the parking lot at the top of the Road to Nowhere along with the cops on break, and sits there half the day before slowly working his way down to our circle.

I have decided if I do get the prescription today I won’t ask for a refund. I will be happy knowing I now have a six month supply of thyroid and statin medication. That’s not a bad thing. Of course if it doesn’t arrive soon I will have to go through the circus of trying to get my $13 back. I’m not sure I like the mail order pharmacy. Clearly it can’t be trusted. What if I had ordered insulin? Or test strips? Strong words would be spoken for sure. For now I can chill with the hopes that I do have a six month supply.

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